Jane Kelly Column Cape May Times December 2000

I don't think of myself as an outdoorsy person. And in certain respects, that is true. I'm not the outdoorsy type that you typically find browsing at Eddie Bauer, L.L. Bean and Eastern Mountain Sports. Run into someone in a sleeping bag at the bottom of the Grand Canyon? It's not me. Don't look for me hanging around base camp on your trek up Everest. I won't be there.

There are places, however, where I can be spotted enjoying the great outdoors. Check out any bar or restaurant with outdoor service and there's a chance I'll be there. Add a water element -- from a fountain to an ocean -- and there's a good chance I'll be there. When the tables first hit the deck or the pavement or the patio, I'll be there.

My love of outdoor dining has roots deep in my childhood. When I was a kid my parents belonged to a club that we had to visit regularly "to eat the minimum." Our family was there several nights a month -- every month. I can no longer tell you what the dining room looked like but I remember every detail of the wide porch where we ate on beautiful summer evenings. Beautiful summer evenings could not have accounted for 10% of our dining experiences but they are the outings I recall.

I'm up for any outdoor dining event but throw in some water and I'll go any distance, cross any barrier. I'll even stand in line -- within reason. I've eaten by water hazards, cement fountains, and baby pools. I've driven two hours to the coast simply to eat at an oceanfront restaurant. When I lived in Arizona, a friend and I would bike over to the Phoenix River to check for water in the cement viaduct. If we spotted a trickle, we sat and ate a homemade lunch. The point I'm trying to make is that I'm pretty much obsessed with waterfront dining.

Last year I rented a house with 210 degree harborfront views. You'd think I would have gotten enough of the water views at home. But no. It only increased my desire to do everything waterfront -- including dining.

At least -- and at last -- I have a goal. I would like to live my life in summer afternoons at a waterfront bar. You know the type. The kind of place where sailors pull boats -- from dinghies to yachts -- up to the dock. Where the dress is casual and shoes if required are flip-flops. The kind of bar where they serve big fruity drinks -- often without alcohol but always with embarrassing names. The kind of place where a seafood dinner consists of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish in bowls around the bar. Or at best, shellfish from the raw bar. I like to go from the beach to one of those spots at about 4PM and stay until sundown. Sipping a frothy drink. Just a little sunburnt. Still a little wet. That to me is living.

If you share my zeal for the outdoor dining experience, you'll weather any conditions. But everyone is not so dedicated. And, I'll admit that there are downsides to outdoor dining. But they can be overcome. If you plan a summer of visiting outdoor/waterfront dining locations, be prepared. Here are a few helpful hints.

Obviously, you'll know to avoid major stormfronts. (Although I once had a lovely lunch at an outdoor restaurant in New York while a very benevolent hurricane blew over. The Stock Exchange closed but not the patio restaurant. That day the owner knew more than the business moguls -- about the weather at any event.) In general, however, if the local news is predicting evacuation, you might want to move your dining experience indoors.

Only you can determine your comfort zone for dining outside. Can you take it if the air chill drops into the low sixties? If the heat and humidity both push into the nineties? Only you can make the call. Be sure to factor sun vs. shade into your decision. If you decide to brave the elements, take into account that in evening the temperature might drop anywhere from five to twenty degrees while you are dining. This is not a problem. It can be a benefit -- especially if you start the evening at ninety-eight degrees. But even if you start the evening in lovely seventy degree weather, do not let this possibility slow you down. Wear long pants. Bring a sweater. Especially if the water your dining fronts is an ocean.

Don't simply look at the temperature. Check out the wind speed. I've eaten in ocean front restaurants when the wind was whipping in from the east at 35 mph. That'll put the sand in sandwich. (I know a six-year that will love that joke -- okay alleged joke.) If you choose to dine under those circumstances, there isn't much you can do when that happens. (Although you might want to bring along some weights to hold down the tablecloth.)

You probably didn't think you needed a tide clock simply to make dinner reservations. Let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt. I've made the mistake of eating on a harborfront dock when low tide and dusk coincided. Once. I still scratch my ankles involuntarily just thinking about it. If you don't want to invest in a tide clock (although they make lovely souvenirs), snip the tide chart from the local paper. Or go online. Know the tide schedule before picking up the phone to call that waterfront restaurant. (Also, consider the odors related to low tide. My friend, Bob, loves that smell -- okay, he thinks of it as a fragrance. If you don't, you might want to wait until high tide to eat.)

I'm assuming you know the approximate time when sunset will occur but if you haven't been paying attention check the newspaper or go on www.sunrisesunset.com. While you're checking, you might want to check on the lunar schedule. I, for one, never know when to expect the moon. If you're like me and look forward to dining while the moon lays a path of light to your table, check out the moonrise. I haven't a clue what you'll find.

Okay, suppose the moon won't be up, the tide will be out, and the sun will be setting and you still want to go to dinner. Go ahead. But consider taking a can of OFF along. Unless you're one of those lucky people whom mosquitoes fail to find appealing. It's unlikely, however, that no one in your party will look like dinner from a mosquito's point of view. Take my advice. OFF comes in purse-size dispensers.

3. Check the wind. If the wind is not blowing in the direction of the dining area at an excessive rate (only you can determine an acceptable rate), proceed to step 4.

Life is short and summer is shorter. The joys of outdoor dining far outweigh the perils. Before you know it, the kids will be back at school, the leaves will be off the trees, and those tables will be stored in the back of the restaurants. Carpe diem, fellow diners. Autumn is just around the corner.